Husn.

I was today years old when I realized people are different but the problems are the same. We are what our choices make us. Nobody is good or bad, it's about perspective. I need to write about betrayal but I think betrayal is nothing but experiencing the unexpected. Cheating is wrong, betrayal is just having a wrong perception about something or someone. 'Husn' reminds us of the overrated Anuv Jain. Well, I promised myself I won't listen to it but I guess it's a perfect song to describe what I feel. 'I am half agony half hope' and I still don't know what I am hoping for. There is nothing one doesn't have to feel sad about, but there is something one has to feel happy about too. It's crazy how I write every once in a while and disclose my life, I do it on purpose. I want to spread the word, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

Real sadness is what Jagjit Singh felt when his son died, it is what Chitra Singh felt when she saw everyone she loved breathe their last breath in front of her eyes. What we feel is disappointment after a wrong perspective, a mere disappointment. 'I never thought he/she would do this to me', that's what you thought, not what existed. 'I thought he/she liked me', well that's what is most convenient to think but 'I never thought he/she would do this to me but it's okay, I perceived it wrong' is what we need to conclude.

As always, I bring in a story, so here goes nothing. I knew two guys, and both wanted one thing, something casual, a fling. Creepy for many, and normal for some, I would go with the first one but that's my perspective. Honestly, it is more normal than I thought it would be to keep it casual. It did not hurt me to see them not commit to me as it did to see that they didn't have the will to lose someone again. Their story? they were loved wrong in the past, not once but twice. Different people but somehow so similar, you can't blame them for being them now, can you? That's life.

Another person, someone very close to me did some mean things but now that I think about it, it's all valid. I expected better but I should've known that we can't know someone entirely in 10 years, forget months. Perspectives change so much, so easily.

I take time to trust but I still lose it often, I take time to love but I still get heartbroken often. Now that I look back, it feels okay, I healed, mostly. But some people don't. The two guys are some people. The difference between them and me? I left myself free to explore, to give life another chance, they couldn't. I'm not saying they don't love or they are depressed, they are just a little scared, what if something bad happens again? What if history repeats itself?

I learned I should be a little reserved, not get so attached so soon but they need to learn to give life another chance.

Life is more than the need of someone physically, it's more about the laughter, the sorrow, and the learnings that you won't gain living with a closed heart. People betray, they make their own choices, good or bad, but not everyone betrays. I can't make you start loving people again but I can ask you to try. Sadness is a part of life; life is not sad. Happiness is life and not a part of it. It's despairing to see people leave a gem, someone that might bring them joy because they are hurt. It's not just about a love relationship, it may be a friendship, or even your family. You can't just leave everything because it didn't work out the last time, take your time, give it another chance, and just don't lose hope. Hope is what keeps us alive, hope is what keeps us going. I see everyone being so casual about giving themselves to someone for mere happiness, have you tried loving instead and sticking? Didn't work out? Try again. When we're 30, telling our stories to the younger ones, we would not want to talk about meaningless flings, we would want to talk about love which may not come from the first or the second person we fall for, but from the third, fourth or fifth person. And if finding the one for yourself is not what life is about, then maybe I am in the wrong generation.

That's it for today, until next time :)